Sunday, November 4, 2012

Gratitude

I've gotta tell you, I generally balk at doing things that everyone else is doing. This whole post one thing you are grateful for for the month of November thing that seems to have cropped up on Facebook sort of befuddles me though. I'm all for being grateful. Thanksgiving is quite possibly my favorite holiday because of it, and I love that people want to share what they love, but *just* because so many people are doing it, it makes me want to not do it. I know. There is something wrong with me. Whatever.

But, it's like this: I have been sort of a grump the last week or so. I have an almost two year old who says "no" to everything, even when he means "yes", then he whines when I respond like he said "no" (which he did) instead of "yes". I have a three year old who has solidly hit the "I need to do it" phase and it prone to emotional breakdowns if things aren't just as she planned or imagined them. Oh yeah, and a newborn and all that entails. But I can't blame my grumpiness on them. They try my patience, but my choices are still my choices. It is my choice to stay up too late. It is my choice to eat too much junk food. It is my choice to make my battles harder than they need to be.* So, in an effort to keep myself sane, I'm jumping on the old bandwagon. 

Today I am grateful for my kids. Although there are days that they make me want to rip my hair out and walk out the door without them, life would suck more without them. That sounds cynical. I know. But the truth is I love their guts. Period. 

I'm grateful for my little independent lady. The truth is, I'm pleased as Pete that she's choosing to be more independent, I just need to learn to be patient when her doing it takes longer than me doing. And I need to learn to plan ahead for the time she will need. 

I'm grateful for the capacity to learn and adapt and grow, and for kids who make me. 

I'm grateful for my sturdy little boy who loves with all the force in his little body. I am grateful for his hugs and snuggles even when they come out more like head-butts or when they are poorly timed (nursing...). I am grateful for all his energy coming out in a big tense shake and a clenched jaw right before he gives his brother a soft kiss. It is sweet to see him trying his best to do right. I am learning to see that his messes are just him experimenting with the world around him, and I am grateful for his curiosity. It is a trait to be valued. Even when it's messy and exhausting. 

I am grateful for the capacity to teach. That I get to teach this little guy about being soft, and about what to do with all that energy and force and curiosity, and, hopefully, how to use them well. They are gifts to be sure, even when they drive me batty.

I am grateful for my newborn. He is an easy baby, and let me tell you. I needed him to be an easy baby.

I am grateful for (warning: mushy cliche' stuff coming) my patient, helpful, sweet, most amazingest (yes, he's better than yours. deal with it) husband. I am grateful for him taking over the kids when I'm trying to make dinner and I've had it with the extra help. I am grateful for him being patient with my random mental breakdowns. I am grateful for the all hard work he does for our family. I am grateful that he doesn't seem to think I'm a complete lunatic, even when I'm pretty sure that I am. I am grateful that I don't have to do this alone, and most of all, I'm grateful that I've got him with me for the ride. 


*Tangent: I once had an english professor who gave us the topic, "Why do we live in such a way as to avoid solving the problems we know we have". Stellar topic. Stellar Teacher. Stellar class.

1 comment:

  1. I love that last quote. I have spent the majority of my life acting that way. I grew up with people who did that. Why not look for a true way to solve it rather than just complain about. I have a long way to go but I am trying to be better.

    I also had a hard time jumping on the bandwagon. You saw my hesitance. But then I had to. I had such a hard month last month. It was spiritually difficult as I pondered why my really good friend lost her precious daughter and plethera (sp?) of other things. I realized, more than anything, I needed to be more vocal about my gratitude. But, I totally get why you are hesitant to jump on. :)

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