Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Present

Today I realized the February is over. I know there's still a day left, but the whole month, all but that last little leap day is gone. And I missed it. I mean, I'm here, I'm alive, but I sort of checked out for a while. I let things slide that I normally don't. I forgot to return the library books. I stopped making bread and hot breakfast. I stopped planning meals and doing the dishes. I stopped writing in my journal because I stopped having anything to write.

I sound depressed. I'm not. I mean, my current laziness is pretty depressing, but I'm not sending out distress calls here. I'm waking up. I'm choosing to be present again.

It's like this. I'm growing a person, and it turns out that is really exhausting at first. So I started letting things go. Things that didn't seem important. As long as we're eating it doesn't much matter what we eat, right? It's not that big of a deal to watch this much TV when you feel crumby. And it's not. Sometimes. Occasionally. Rarely. But occasions occasionally become more, and before I knew it I had some bad habits, and it turns out that growing a person is hard on a body, but so are bad habits. And here I am on the cusp of March with nothing to show for my last 28 days but, a pile of junk food and stinky dishes and a lump on the couch in front of old detective shows from the 80's (yeah, don't ask).

Today, on Pinterest I saw a pin that said "The food you eat can either be the safest, and most powerful form of medicine, or the slowest form of poison." (It is attributed to a woman named Ann Wigmore, who I've not heard of, but I'm off to Google her in a bit.) I read that little quote and I remembered what I knew. Things I knew before February about what I put in my body and how it makes me feel. So I decided to do better. I had strawberries instead of strawberry fruit roll ups. A peanut butter, honey, and banana sandwich. I had some junky fake cheese on crackers, but when I was thinking about it I realized how much better real cheese and crackers sounded. . I had a graham cracker with peanut butter and chocolate chips and I'm going to go eat something with avocados because I need to use them up pronto. And the coolest part. Is that I already feel better. Sure I'm still tired, and I will be for a while. Growing people is hard work. But I crocheted during my show today instead of huddling under my spider-man blanket and I didn't find another show to watch afterward. I didn't feel like I had to drag myself to the shower. I wanted to blog. And doggone it. I'm gonna go do some dishes. I might even return some library books.

8 comments:

  1. Yeah, I've noticed that the effort to not eat chocolate for lent helps me to make other goals. One little step helps us to feel more powerful and to make other little steps. Glad you are up and going again.

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  2. I love your insights. You are a good writer and have pointed out a few things I need to remember. Thanks for your blog today!

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    1. Thanks Britta. I'm glad I'm not the only one who's learning as I go!

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  3. Wow! Did I miss something?! Congratulations on the baby on the way! Hey, you have a HUGE thing to show for in February!! You're growing a HUMAN! Thats tough work! :) When's your due date? You are doing great for having 2 kids 18 months a part and pregnant again! Go you!

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    1. Nope, you didn't miss a thing. We've only just started telling people. Thanks for the pick me up. This one should be coming mid September sometime so T. will be almost 2 and we'll have just a little over a semester before we're out of school! Yay!

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  4. Katie! I'm glad that what I was reading between the lines was correct! I am so happy for you. :) I have never been morning sick, but I know from my sisters that it is hard, hard, HARD to get anything done. Amanda is just coming out of this phase herself, and she felt discouraged for many of the same reasons. Someday, I'll know EXACTLY how you feel, and then I will need YOUR support to get through it. But for now, know that I'm sending lots of love and health your way!

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  5. Yay for peanut butter and whole wheat; and being present.

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